Good Grief

by Grawl!x

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The 1st album in a trilogy of records about grief.

It was written & recorded during a kinda strange time in my life. The band I'd been in for 10 years was drawing to a close & I had to move back in with my parents. I was also an alcoholic with not much sense of a future (not to be too dramatic!)

I had however been made full time as a projectionist which gave me a little extra income. So to give me sen something to do, I endeavoured to put some money aside to record this album. (Hopefully with a view to eventually completing a full trilogy)

I had always struggled to finish things & given I was approaching my 30s thought I should commit to something. To say it gave me a lifeline would be an understatement.

I hadn't realised it but I had been grieving for most of my 20s over various personal things but neglected to confront any of it. This album was in retrospect my first attempt at doing so. It was totes emosh as ye can imagine & I remember crying alot!

But mostly what I remember is being slightly confused as to why so many people were so nice to me in helping out with bits & bobs on the record. The kindness was overwhelming. This probs says more about my lack of self-esteem than anything. Friends & music have kept me alive.

Stay safe,



released February 14, 2015

All material written & performed by Maria Michael Machin.
Released on Time Travel Opps.

Oooh's: Haiku Salut
The 'Fridge' Accordion: Louise Croft:
Glockenspiel: Sophie Barkerwood
Strings: The Derventio Trio
Beats: Robbie Newman

The Lonely Fools & Crazy Horses Vocal Ensemble:
Richard J. Birkin, Laura Brady, Gemma Barkerwood, Sophie Barkerwood, Tom John, Ben Walker, Rich Collins & Leigh Dawber

Produced by Rich Collins @Snug Recording Co
Mastered by Joe Caithness @Subsequent Mastering

Piano on 'Butterflies' recorded by Richard J. Birkin @Unity Mill, Belper
Flower pressing cover by Ann Murray
Photographed by Dan Wheeler
Design & Layout by Jim Cork

Hugz: Leigh Dawber, Robert Fairs, Danielle Cotterill, Jim Cork, Dan Wheeler, Lara Elliot, Richard Bunker, QUAD, Sam Jordan, Laura Brady, Tom John, Steve@ADS, Penny@PTS, Papayer, Dub:rek. Matt Spalding & especially Richard J. Birkin

Luvz: Cal, Tomas, JC, Dani, Joe Stevenson, FAM, Crofty, the Barkerwoods, Uncle Michael & Auntie Ann, Jamie T, Laim C, Martin L, Amy & Luke, Rob Holliday & Hayley Walsh



all rights reserved



Grawl!x England, UK


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Track Name: Atlas Bear
I miss your self-destructive side
Behind the lines that have gathered underneath your eyes
Wave bye, bye to our prime

(Didn’t have) Much of a choice
It were this or nothing
I told my counsellor but he doesn’t believe in that sort of thing

“One too many mornings did I awake to find my feeling like I might be dying. Now, I’m too tired.”

Remember when you used to say,
“When life hands you lemons, karate kick life in the face & push lemons down its cock end”?

Too late to say
Dying breed
Too soon to admit defeat
Nowt anyone would repeat
Devil, devil, devil there in me

I miss your self-destructive side
With a wife, a child & a life
You haven’t got any more time
I know that you’ll be fine

But you, me we stood on a cliff daring each other to lift away on an open breeze like a couple of fucking idiots

Enjoy breeding names
While I am breathing in drains
I’ll see you again someday, old friend

Too soon to say
Live in breathe
Too late to recall defeat
Nowt anyone would believe
Good grief, good grief, good grief

To anyone, incomplete
To us, it made men concrete
They anyway cannot see the devil, devil, devil there in me
& the angel in you
& the devil in me
& the angel in you
Track Name: Heg Leah
Fall Alone

Saw the light
Light so bright
Terrified me

Saw the light
Paralysed me

Saw the light
Blinding light
Shining bright on me

Saw the light
Light so bright
Kept alive me
Track Name: I Don't Know What To Tell You
There was the thing that was going to happen
It was bound to happen
There was no question
It was in our minds in a solid state
In a special place
Make no mistake

Then for whatever reason it just didn’t happen & I don’t know what to tell you

There was the thing that was supposed to happen but we both know that nothing is certain
There’s enough for us to regret without bedding down with what-if’s
For now there’s nothing there but nowt
It just didn’t come about & I don’t know what to tell you

There’s nothing I wanted more
There’s nothing I needed more
Track Name: Run Forever
Put one foot in front of the other, forever
Never stop

Put your foot down
Put it all behind you
Just keep driving
It’s too late to stop now

Freedom is never looking back
& we’re just two little people in a big ol’ world who will run forever
Run forever

Nothing short of emancipation from a congregation in desperation
Waiting; while we’re escaping

There is momentum behind us
Like an oil tanker on a big wave headed for a hut on stilts

Freedom is never looking back
& we’re just two little people with blood on our hands who will run forever

Watch them get smaller & smaller in the wing mirror
We’ll run forever
Track Name: The Lark
The lark slips away for a thousand miles
It’s coming on
Gliding between leaves & trees
For a while, with minimal preparation

To a full ocean in view
Gliding sunset in situ

Diving just to show off
I thought as much
See you’ve got better things to do
Friends let friends know when friends are fucking up
Don’t s’pose you could take me with you?

To a full ocean in view
Laid back engulfed by the blue
Anything to be with you

Track Name: Copse
On the phone
By the copse, I build a home
Pushing through th’underbrush
Rest your head on my shoulder
My love (is)

Secret people

The dirt ‘n Earth
By candle, I’ll build our home
In the underground
It’s here when you’re ready to rest your weary head
& I’ll wait with my secret people

Secret people
Track Name: Lonely Fools and Crazy Horses
The Man, O Muse delights in taking a look back at his life, one damp night.
Wasn’t ill advised.
He fucked, conquered all holes & crammed everything he could up his nose & arsehole.
He was my hero.

“Aye, deliver my soul; ‘fore I get old!
Aye, deliver my soul; I done got old!”

Love loves to love love
Decimating the competition was good fun
But it wasn’t for everyone.
After a mighty while, he pushes off to the happy isles with a smile
See you in a while

“Yo! Deliver muh soul to a broken mould!
Sold the family goal/gold for a lonely road!
Aye, deliver my soul to a lonely road!
Aye, deliver my soul to a lonely road!”
Track Name: Bumps
It was all bumps
Just an endless succession of thumps right to my lady lumps
& Glossolalia gumpf
Eligo, ergo, sum
Now it’s all done

Never straight, never smooth
It would have been nothing without you
With blind sight benefits
With a full point in full view
You would be forgiven for forgetting the truth

That it was all bumps & I miss you so much
It was all bloody bumps & I miss you so much

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