by Grawl!x

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    Third album from multi-instrumentalist and the conclusion of a trilogy along with Good Grief and Aye!

    Pressed on clear vinyl and in a full colour sleeve with insert, the album contains single Don't Do It To Yourself, and also features contributions from Haiku Salut, Richard J. Birkin, Shelley Jane Newman (Mighty Kids, GodNo!), and Danielle Ross (Pet Crow).

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The third & final installment in a trilogy of albums about grief.
This particular one is specifically about death etc.
Our sincerest gratitude goes out to anyone who gives it a listen.



released April 6, 2018

Written & Performed by Maria Michael Machin

Engineered & Produced by Rich Collins & Robin Newman
Recorded & Mixed @ Snug Recording Co
Mastered @ Subsequent Mastering

Strings Arranged & Conducted by Richard J. Birkin

Vocals on ‘The Moment’s Gone’… Shelley Jane Newman
Vocals on ‘Don’t do it to Yourself’… Danielle Butterflies
Drums… Rich Collins & Oli Craven
Strings… Deirdre Bencsik, Clare Bhabra, Peter Leighton Jones, Jacquise Anthony
Fiddle… Sarah Matthews
Accordion…Louise Croft
Trumpet…Gemma Barkerwood
Vibraphone…Sophie Barkerwood
Clarinet…Emmie Chadwick & Gemma Bower

The Lonely Fools & Crazy Horses Vocal Ensemble…
Emmie Chadwick, Tomas Ward, Callum Holmes, Louise Croft, Sophie Barkerwood, Gemma Barkerwood, Russell Lomas, Jonathan Holmes, Jo Lewis, Leigh Dawber & Danielle Butterflies

Photos… Dan Wheeler
Design & Layout… Jim Cork
Artwork… Triona Doyle
Flower Pressing… Ann Murray
Released by Reckless Yes Records

Dedicated to Michael Murray

Thank you!
Russell Lomas, Leigh Dawber, Sarah Lay, Pete Darrington, Paul Beal, PET CROW, Lara Elliot, Dani Martin, QUAD, all the ‘Fleeting’ cast & crew, Amy Burchell, Luke Bell, Linda@Insight, Fam obvs, Connor Francis Wallis, Sian Morrell, Maria Bamford, Haiku Salut & Alex Bowen

Special Taa: Hayley Rachael Walsh


all rights reserved



Grawl!x England, UK


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Track Name: Appendix B
Barrelling down a dark tunnel
There is no light
All they’re trying to do is help
No light in sight

Tearful end to a long goodbye
Where there was light
Must to keep moving on
Onward! Toward the light

What say you & I go get wrecked
Like we used to
Revel in a decadent excess
Through some darkness

Try my best to not remember
Quite the fine plight
All they’re trying to do is help
They talk of light

Somewhere heard the promise of light
Track Name: The Moment's Gone
The Moment’s Gone

Nodding off on the last bus home
Shared a drink & then came home with scuffed knuckles
It can wait
We escape into scrapes
Too late
Us vs. World & her face
Her face

You don’t know
At least you got to see her one last time

Longing’s long
It’ll pass; about done
On the tip of yer tongue & the moment’s gone
Hitch a ride
Slip & slide on black ice
Hug goodbye & her eyes
Her eyes

They don’t know
But at least you got to see her one last time
Track Name: Don't do it to Yourself
You know it & I know it
You’re in a lorry on the driver’s side
Hands clasped over yer tired eyes
Both feet to the floor
Headed for a wall

Don’t do it to yourself
I know she’s there with someone else
I know you want to kill yourself
I’m there for you if you need help
Don’t do it to yourself

I can’t bear to watch

I know it hurts
Know you think that it can’t get any worse
I’m well aware that she comes first
It’s her or hearse as far as you’re concerned

But I will listen to your ills
Yer friends keep plying you with pills
Can’t tell if they think they’re trying to help
Don’t just keep it to yourself
Know what she is going to say
Wish your pain would go away
If not for me then do it for your health
Please don’t do it to yourself

Can’t bear to watch
I love you too much
Track Name: Trawpse
All that is dead to me
You’ll be the death of me too
Ont footpad I come too, through a clearing in the dew
Int a chapel yard
Yay, I been trawpsin’ for days
Fog clouds weigh heavy
Can barely see in front of me
O sorrow
O sorrow

A Rook just said to me
Cawing, it beckon’d me to come before it
Puffs of breath emanate out vox tubes
Stood on a stone, relentlessly pecking out Morse code
Cannonball eyes
Goo ‘n ax ‘im & he just nods, no
Come, follow
Come, follow

“You will find love”

Push against sleet reen asking ‘em, “How long has it been?”
“Who knows? For about as long as I can remember”
Tell ‘em that I realised I no longer want to die
Seems a bit scary
Don’t know what to do with me sen
O sorrow
O sorrow
“Nay mind, ye daft get
No sorrow
You will find love”
Track Name: Homestretch
We are dead forever
For a short time we are clever enough to know that we’re never coming back
Up in business


You know long
Inner city
Dead wrong
You know wrong

We don’t know
(Why can’t we all just get along?)


You know long
In a city
Dead long
You know alone

We don’t know

In yourself is kept
Likely for the best
Kept abreast
On the edge
Ahead’s the homestretch

We don’t know

Kept telling myself
Kept it to yourself
On repeat: “Hope never got anything done”

We don’t know

Looking straight ahead
Up unto your dead
Leaden head & the rest
Dead weighing a tonne

We don’t know

So long, it’s been fun
Guess I might have been wrong

Track Name: Minutiae
I can be your sandwich & you can be my window
Dug from cobbled stone
Resplendent with neglect
I confess to little regret
By my Sunday best

So demand compliance as I stumble overthrown to avoid a show
Wreck my niece’s birthday party by exhuming & dumping her puppy’s bones

Either came from heaven or a seven & eleven
But the snake eyes, they remain
Watching you

It either came from heaven or a seven to eleven
But the snake eyes, they remain
Watching you
Track Name: A Tether
Forever teetering on a precipice
‘Tis bliss
She sees it’s me
Rips me to pieces
“You’re tattered, torn, frail & worn”

Takes a rope, frayed & old
Tethered torso to torso
She pulls me up, pulls on the rope
Until we safe in embrace

“Don’t you ever do that again, you big numpty!”
Never leave me

We keep each other at the end of a tether
Track Name: Apricity
She loves the sun on her face
Reflects over the room

Swarms of air brush her cheek & absorb what we do

So much to say
So much to see

Petals raise up their heads
Branches reach out their leaves

Bound by gravity
A sullen sea of trees

So much to say
So much to see

It was always you

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